What a fucking bin fire of a human being. I imagine him as being always one sentence away from finding a way to make the conversation about elbows, and I think that would get uncomfortable quickly. It was all going so well until I noticed that Angus' face is perpetually stuck doing the People's Eyebrow, a la Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in the late 90s. Anyone willing to be a climatologist in the nightmare future is probably a pretty solid geezer, and they've even submitted an article to a science journal! Admittedly they also sell elbow fetish videos, but I don't want to yuck their yum. Here we go:Īngus almost seemed alright, to be fair - a strong start. I will now go through them one by one, judging their worthiness, and moving on when I inevitably decide they'd be unbearable.
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The sampling has been pretty much random - I fast-travelled to each borough in the game, using my magical future phone to download the personal profiles of the first people I saw, and screenshotted the lot. And to top it all off, in addition to their so-near-yet-so-far position re: humanity, they all seem like extremely annoying people, thanks to the selection of Extremely Online hobbies and interests the game populates their biographies with.Īnyway, I thought I'd conduct a sort of half-arsed Voight-Kampff test, to see if I could find an NPC in Watch Dogs Legion who seemed like they might make for at least passable company, were I a dystopian resistance fighter. well, about the same, but if the GM in question was in the final stages of a gruelling, three-day ale monstering.
At best, potential recruits feel like NPCs created on the spur of the moment, by a tabletop GM accommodating a player's insistence on talking to absolutely everyone in a throwaway tavern scene. Nightmare future London, therefore, is a great big stroll through the uncanny valley.
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